i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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