your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
