I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
