Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
