It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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