so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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