I can't breathe out the right side of my face
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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