her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
