If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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