I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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