The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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