South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize