She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
