drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I can't turn off my feet"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
