Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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