Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Congratulations! We have a period
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