We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
