Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
