new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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