I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
