they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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