i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
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