And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
