Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I want you more than these girls want KFC
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
