Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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