12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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