I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
