I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
