Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Randomize
