What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
