a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
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Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
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