Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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