I wanna bring you to show and tell
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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