Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
