i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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