listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
