I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Please don't give away my fajitas
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize