hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
