i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
