I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
