I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
