dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He did a backflip because drugs
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
