i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
