my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
