whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
