I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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