oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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