And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
