Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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