But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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