i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Too much gin, very little bucket
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize