at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
