all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
