I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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