you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize