I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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