Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
the night ended with taco bell and tears
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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