what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize
