this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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