Christians are straight up FREAKS
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.