is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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