I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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