Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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