they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.