just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.