Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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