I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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