It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there