I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.