Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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