I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
