Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize