You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
