she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
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If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
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Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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